Pastor lies to skip church: (Effects of Hiding)

A preacher woke up one Sunday morning and looked outside and saw it was a beautiful day. He decided to skip church and go play golf. So he called the junior pastor at his church and told him he was sick and couldn't give the sermon. The junior pastor told him not to worry, he would deliver the sermon.

The pastor drove about 40 miles away from town to avoid being spotted. As he was setting up his first drive on the first hole, Jesus leaned over to God in heaven and asked him, "Are You going to let him get away with this?"

God told Jesus not to worry, he would handle it. Right as God said that, the preacher hit the drive of his life. The ball traveled all 450 feet to the green, bounced once, and rolled in the hole. The preacher was ecstatic. Jesus asked God,"Why would you let him do that?"

God said, "Because, who is he gonna tell?"

Joke: JaiSiyaRam: The Funeral of A Stingy Man.

* * * * * * * * * * * * *

* [Read: What are we looking for?] *[Read: ]

Power Memory Class: (Somethings don't change)

An elderly couple had been experiencing declining memories, so they decided to take a power memory class where one is taught to remember things by association.

A few days after the class, the old man was outside talking with his neighbor about how much the class helped him.

"What was the name of the Instructor?" asked the neighbor.

"Oh, ummmm, let's see," the old man pondered. "You know that flower, you know, the one that smells really nice but has those prickly thorns, what's that flower's name?"

"A rose?" asked the neighbor.

"Yes, that's it," replied the old man. He then turned toward his house and shouted, "Hey, Rose, what's the name of the Instructor we took the memory class from?

* * * * * * * * * * * * *

* [Read: Here is a nice one Creating Things.] *[Read: ]

Lawyers Bill: (Advise is not for free)

A doctor and a lawyer were talking at a party. Their conversation was constantly interrupted by people describing their ailments and asking the doctor for free medical advice.

After an hour of this, the exasperated doctor asked the lawyer, "What do you do to stop people from asking you for legal advice when you're out of the office?"
"I give it to them," replied the lawyer, "and then I send them a bill."
The doctor was shocked, but agreed to give it a try.

The next day, still feeling slightly guilty, the doctor prepared the bills.
When he went to place them in his mailbox, he found a bill from the lawyer.

* * * * * * * * * * * * *
*[Read: Here is a good article on .] *[Read: ]

Please listen to me (Perceive the truth)

A police officer in a small town stopped a motorist who was speeding down Main Street.

The man began, "Officer, I can explain."

"No explanation needed!" snapped the Officer. "I'm going to let you cool your heels in the jail until the chief gets back."

The man tried again. "But Officer, please wait, I have to tell you something. Please listen to me."

"Just keep quiet! You broke the law, it’s an offense. Why only tell how? I cannot let you go. You're going to jail and I'm not interested in what you have to say!" the Officer barked.

A few hours later in the jail, the Officer looked in on his prisoner and said, "Lucky for you the chief is at his daughter's wedding. He'll be in a good mood when he gets back."

"Don't count on it," answered the fellow in the cell. "I'm the groom."

* * * * * * * * * * * * *
* [Read: Oh God! Please Speak to me.]

Read:


Jokes.
*Please listen to me. *The Silent Treatment! *Surgeon Vs Mechanic. *God's doing a lot better job lately.

The Silent Treatment (A Tit for a Tat.)

A man and his wife were having some problems at home and were giving each other the silent treatment.

Suddenly the man realized that the next day he would need his wife to wake him at 5:00 AM for an early morning business flight.

Not wanting to be the first to break the silence(and LOSE), he wrote on a piece of paper, "Please wake me at 5:00 AM."

He left it where he knew she would find it. The next morning the man woke up, only to discover it was 9:00 AM and he had missed his flight.

Furious, he was about to go and see why his wife hadn't wakened him when he noticed a piece of paper by the bed. The paper said, "It is 5:00 AM. Wake up."

* * * * * * * * * * * * *
* [Read: the Logic of: Good and Bad.]

Read:


Jokes.
*Please listen to me. *The Silent Treatment! *Surgeon Vs Mechanic. *God's doing a lot better job lately.

Surgeon Vs Mechanic (Quality does Count)

A mechanic was removing a cylinder head from the motor of a Benz, when he spotted a world-famous heart surgeon in his shop. The heart surgeon was waiting for the service manager to come and take a look at his bike. The mechanic shouted across the garage, "Hey Doctor, can I ask you a question?"

The famous surgeon, a bit surprised, walked over to the mechanic working on the motorcycle. The mechanic straightened up, wiped his hands on a rag and asked, "So Doctor, look at this engine. I also can open it up,take valves out, fix them, put in new parts and when I finish, this will work just like a new one. So how come I get a pittance and you get the really big money, when you and I are doing basically the same work?"

The surgeon paused, smiled and leaned over, and whispered to the mechanic...
" Try doing it while it's running! "

* * * * * * * * * * * * *
*[Please Read: Amazing Constructive Vibrations.]

Read:


Jokes.
*Please listen to me. *The Silent Treatment! *Surgeon Vs Mechanic. *God's doing a lot better job lately.

God's doing a lot better job lately (Innocence)

Grandpa and granddaughter were sitting talking when she asked, "Did God make you, Grandpa?"

"Yes, God made me," the grandfather answered.

A few minutes later, the little girl asked him, "Did God make me, too?"

"Yes, He did," the older man answered.

For a few minutes, the little girl seemed to be studying her grandpa, as well as her own reflection in the mirror, while her grandfather wondered what was running through her mind. At last she spoke up.

"You know, Grandpa," she said, "God's doing a lot better job lately."

* * * * * * * * * * * * *
* [Watch YouTube: Babies Tasting Lemons.] *[Read: ]

(Search This Video)

"WE" has More Power than "I". Please leave a comment if you encounter any problems or have any suggestions.

Jokes.

*Please listen to me. *The Silent Treatment! *Surgeon Vs Mechanic. *God's doing a lot better job lately.